Introvert: Going out as an introvert

Introvert

Introvert: Going out as an introvert

– Hey, what’s your name?

– Sorry, I’m busy, we’ll chat later.

– Busy with what???

– Dancing!

Are you being cheeky? No, I’m just an introvert.

Sometimes I go out because I do want to meet people. Other times I simply want to dance, observe, and enjoy myself. I can dance at home, but no matter how you slice and dice it, the atmosphere in a club is different. It’s nice to see that people are having fun, and I’m somehow being a part of it.

Meeting people means I need to invest, make sure they’re having a good time, and have someone around. It generally feels like a hassle, especially if a person wants to get closer for no reason. I haven’t decided yet if I want to even talk, but they’ve already bridged the distance. It’s called boundaries; and I think it’s healthy to know where they lie.

I keep saying that introverts are all about deep, meaningful connections, but recently I’ve learned that at times I don’t even want it. Building a meaningful connection with someone means asking questions and really trying to understand what makes them tick, their reasons, and past experiences. It also means answering their questions, which is even worse for me. I’m an introvert, – I speak intentionally. I need to think before I share my thoughts, often I don’t even want to share things because it takes energy to frame it. Sometimes I don’t want to dive that deep. And you know what, it’s fine. I learned not to worry about meeting people and explaining this stuff to them.

I learned to listen to my needs and make sure I’m enjoying the moment, not constantly worrying about whether others think that I’m too difficult, cheeky, reserved, and challenging. Because it’s two different things: to be closed off and to have your boundaries. If the former is obvious, the latter means: I’ve got an amazing world inside, and I’m willing to share it but on my terms and not with everyone. I’ve got people around who get me and at times I’m open to meet those who make me feel safe to open up.

Yours,

Tiana

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